It's MY Wedding, Isn't It? Part 2

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Well…whose wedding is it anyway? My first article on this was to try and encourage couples who are planning a wedding, to remember each other’s needs, as well as the needs of other stakeholders…because, whether you like it or not, as a couple you cannot ignore the needs of your family and guests, right?

Well, today I am talking to the other stakeholders – the family, and the guests. Yes, your thoughts, your opinions, your donations and your needs are important, but the bottom line is if the bride and groom to be end up over-compromising their dream wedding to accommodate yours, then they will be miserable, on the most important day in their lives as a couple.  Is it worth it? I would like to share my thoughts on input from family and friends:

Contribute Financially Without Dictating

Should your financial contribution to the wedding translate to YOU deciding what type of cake the bride will have to accept and who is going to bake it…plus the type of décor that YOU want? Give freely, with no strings attached, and let the couple choose their own service providers.


Be Open-minded and Fair about the Guest List

Weddings have evolved. It used to be the trend to have a wedding reception in a church or sports club or school hall, with uncovered plastic chairs, no guest tables, no draping, only a high table with flowers. The church or family would do the catering…plastic forks and spoons were acceptable, as were plastic or paper plates, and there was no need for glassware or even waiter service, because drinks got passed around in crates and we drank straight from the bottle.  There was no real need for a guest list….and we invited ALL children to come and have fun too…


Trends have shifted, and guest numbers are determined based on cost, and based on the type of venue and the type of atmosphere that the couple wish to create. If the couple want an intimate wedding, please consider it…and if a huge wedding is unavoidable, remember that even the couple have to compromise on their guest list to accommodate everyone else’s…so try to do the same.

This Couple is Unique

Let’s try and allow our bride and groom to be uniquely them. By all means they will borrow ideas and learn from the other family weddings, but they are uniquely THEM. I have sat through countless meetings that are all about “at Farayi’s wedding we did it this way.” With all due respect, Farayi’s wedding was his wedding, not this one…


Bridesmaid, don’t be a Diva

As a bridesmaid you do have a functional role…remember you are not ornamental. Support the bride, advise the bride appropriately, not thoughtlessly…and for the love of the bride…remember you are NOT the bride.



Rufaro Mushonga